Friday, 21 December 2007

A mixed day with a lot of difference...

Today is a very different kind of day. Firstly, I have been feeling very sad and depressed for the way my loved ones are behaving with me. They always lie and never perform their duties correctly. Whenever there's a problem, I am the only person to solve it. They just keep mum and I feel the pain. What do you call this? If a person is truly loving and caring, they always support you and help you out of problems. But unfortunately, my loved ones are there only to share happiness. In case of problems, they are just unknown people. But yes, after the problems are solved, they come and patch up and again get ready for taking happiness. I have spent so much of my time with such people and only I know how much it hurts. When a person is dying, a single drop of water can save him. But after his death, even the whole ocean can't get him back. Same way, my near and dear ones give me ocean (to drown me) but never have I got that live saving drop of water

With these sad thoughts, I was just passing the day when I remembered that our beloved S K Naik sir is coming to visit us today. He is the hostel superintendent of Adilshahi house at Sainik School, Bijapur and quite close to me and my family too. They came and had good time at my home. He was happy to note my progress and congratulated me on the same. Of course, it was a big surprise for him to see my show-case full of trophies with Academic Excellence. After all, I was an academic failure just a couple of years back. But with honest efforts, I have had a turning point in life. However, this turning point is again sucked away due to certain reasons. And life is moving through sour times, yet again. All hopes seem to have disappeared and dreams have no place in life. Things have taken a bad shape again in my life. Almost everyone feels that I am having a bright life ahead. But only I know what is coming up

At around 3 pm, I was lying down and a shocking news was heard. His holiness, Sri Chandrashekar Swamiji of Shandilya Ashram is no more (standing in center adoring orange color clothes). This was really heartbreaking. Swamiji was a great person. I met him very recently when I had gone with my mom to his ashram. He was a spiritual leader and had a lot of effect on the lives of many people across the nation. He is worshipped by many people. When I met him, it was somewhat a heavenly feeling. I just managed to speak a few words with him. We had, in fact, gone to ask something about some family problems. However, as he was very tired, he was not in a position to listen to us. But he assured us that things will get well soon. My mom is a great believer in him. And my dad too. I, generally, dont find much interest in performing such activities. However, I dont know what took me there today. I was going in the afternoon itself wbut my mom stopped me and asked me to come with her in the evening. We went in the evening. So many devotees were present at the ashram. Almost everyone with tears in their eyes. After all, he was the only person who gave confidence to the general public and blessed them. His body was arranged in the manner prescribed as per Hindu rituals. And when I saw his face, it was just a kind of feeling, I can never express. Was it smile or was it sadness? It was not a blank face. It was trying to tell something to everyone in this world. There was bhajan going on. I could not move my sight away from his face. I wanted to decipher what he was telling. Once at least, it appeared as if he is meditating and he will get up and come to speak to us now. Once I felt as if he feeling some pain. It was a mixed feeling. There was a lot that could be read from his face. For not even a second did I feel that he is not alive. When someone in family dies, the whole family cries. But today, I could see thousands of people shedding tears from their hearts. This indicates his impact on the people. There are many feelings that I got and I am unable to express them

I started thinking about what has happened and what is happening. After all, what is this life? Seriously. Ask yourself, what is this life? More importantly, Who are you? Yes, who am I? Why have I come here? Why should I die one day? What is this system? These are some questions which everyone might think at one point of time. Today, I felt, the real purpose of life is to get an insight to ourselves. What are we doing in our life? Is that right? If not, why do we do it? Why are we so much bothered about materialistic things? Why do we think about such things which have no meaning? Why do people keep doing such things which have no relevance in life at all? Many questions. No answers

When I was thinking all this, I felt as if it was all death in life. What is there in this life expcept death? Lord Shri Krishna was the only person who came on the earth with a smile and he is immortal. We all have come with a cry and we all have to leave one day. I can never imagine the pain of death. When we have a small pain of fever or headache, we feel so much pain. Then, just imagine, how painful is death? What is this life meant for? People plan for future, accumulate money, plan for children, buy everything but what relevance does it hold. After all, everything has to perish one day

These are certain peculiar thoughts that have been flowing in my mind since many days (rather months) but with today's event, these thoughts have been intensified. All life is a big confusion. But one thing that I have learnt is people are life. Life can be a good feeling if we stay with good people. All happiness and sadness depend on the people we live with. Our life paths depend on them. We need support of great souls like Chandrashekar Swamiji who can guide us in right paths. We need experienced parents who have led life seriously and have understood it. We need life partners who contribute rather than expect. We need relatives who add value. Only then, life can be good. Everyone must have good thoughts and feelings. And all this must be under the blessing and spiritual shadow of the Lord God. Only then, life bears some meaning. Otherwise, life is meaningless. And unfortuntely, no one on the earth understands this

And today, yet another sad news came. Amitabh Bachchan's mother, Smt Teji Bachchan, also expired

A real dark day, as I can see...

Saturday, 8 December 2007

Aaja nachle... NCFM Exams cleared... Hurray...

Yes, its time to celebrate, its time to cherish the success achieved, its time to shout out to the world that I have started the move towards my business plans with a bang!

Guess What?

I cleared both the NCFM Exams !!!

The level of excitement is so high and I am very happy for this. My sincere thanks to the God for his support and millions of thanks to Goddess Laxmi and Goddess Saraswati for their timely support. I was not in a position to pay the fees for my exam. But then, luckily I got my dad's credit card using which I transferred the fees of Rs 2000. I got fired as my dad thought it was worthless. Even I felt bad that I wasted so much money for something in which I was certain to fail. The simple reason being that I never studied anything for the same. Due to certain situations that arised, I was very upset and I felt that it was a waste of money here too. But then, things took a turn

For my Capital Market exams, I studied a lot. I covered 3 chapters in a single day. I was more confident about this exam compared to the second one. As I trade in shares, I do possess a good knowledge of the process, etc. I managed to study as much as possible. I stepped into the exam hall, almost hopelessly, just for the purpose of showing my presence. I thought, let me put in my best. However, I am supposed to be here for an hour and instead of sitting idle, let me try to do something. Things took a U-turn immediately. I started answering the questions with a lot of thought and interest. Some guarantees, some guesses, some on logic, some on lottery :-), some on experience, some on previous day's study and so on. I started feeling that I can succeed. I suddenly thought about my business plans and felt that I need to get a little more serious. I started making efforts using the trial and error method, odd answer eliminatons, etc. It, being an objective type of examination, was easy from one angle but difficult from the other. And unfortunately, there was negative marking too. I did my best and closed my eyes, prayed to God, and submitted the paper. And a million thanks to him, I got 68.5% and cleared the exam. I was so excited. A sigh of relief passed through me. More importantly, my 1000 rupees did not go waste


The moment I came out of the exam block, I felt that the lady luck was with me. I started thinking about the next exam, ie, Derivatives Module or Futures and Options Markets. It was something completely new to me. I was confused as to what has to be done. But then, people started celebrating my success. And their expectation was so high from me. They were more confident than me that I will clear even the second exam too. Come on, is this a fairy tale? Even then, they said that I will definitely clear the exam. I came home and my head was bursting. Due to all this road renovation going on in this city, the traffic has become hell. I was almost feeling like cutting my head and throwing it away. Seriously. It was paining too much. So much that I was not even able to lay down with my eyes closed. I managed to get a Saridon and slept. I woke up around 10.30 for my dinner. After the food, I was feeling a little comfortable. Then, I thought about the exam next day. I knew that I will definitely fail. I don't even know that ABC of Derivatives. And not feeling healthy too. I just took the book and started reading. It was very interesting. But I was feeling sleepy too

Suddenly, I thought-"Today is an opportunity. I can make the best of it and be successful now itself. Else, I will have to wait for the next exam (around 3-5 months). 1 night or 3 months?" The moment I got this thought, all sleep was killed. I sat firm and went on
It was midnight 12
12 turned to 1
1 to 2
2 to 3
3 to 4
4 to 5
5 to 6

Everyone at my home started firing at me. I was being scolded many a times at night for having not slept. But then, this was a serious moment for me and I did not bother much. And more importantly, my dad was moving to Nagpur for a 15 days Training Course and I was supposed to drop him at 7.30 in the morning
6 to 7
And it was over

I completed studying the entire derivatives module. It was like me flying over the clouds. Unlimited joy. After all, a whole night's sleep was sacrificed for this
I had a quick bath and went with family to drop dad to the railway station. The train was delayed and I had to be there till 10. After that, I moved home, had breakfast and went to the exam
What more can you expect now?

It was a rocking performance. I completed the exam within 25 minutes while the timing scheduled is 2 hours. I knew that I will definitely score more than 60% which is the requirement to pass. I waited for some time. One hour was up. I couldn't wait anymore to celebrate the joy. I submitted the test
And guess what!!!
An awesome score of 77% in the exam
I was very happy for my efforts fetched fruits and again, I saved my 1000 rupees :-)

A million thanks to the God, my parents and my wellwishers whose confidence in me was one of the strongest force that influenced me to study all night

I wanted to have a blast after this. However, my dear friend, Sachin just missed it by a small margin and this saddened me a lot. He could have easily cleared it if he would have paid a little more attention, just a little more

I remembered my Class XIIth days when I too failed in Physics by just 4 marks. Those 4 marks are still having an impact on my life, a strong impact. Even after creating academic records at my college, I still feel bad for those 4 marks

Nevertheless, life is an ocean of these pains and happiness

Nothing is permanent but change

I left for the day with content and satisfaction

With this, I can say that I have cleared the first hurdle in setting up my business

Not just cleared, cleared it in style baby!!!

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Ab kya karein...

Well, the 5th sem exams for BCom are over

And as mentioned earlier, even CA exams, CAT, CDS, etc have also said ALVIDAAA... Thank God

I just thought I will have a look at my performance check
As for as CA exams are concerned, it was a nightmare. Those 6 subjects are just hell. I was just praying God to help me cross over these as soon as possible. I know I am going to flunk in this exam. But I am not bothered much because that doesn't have much relevance to me. I started this CA race with a lot of plans and a commitment to seriously make a career in this. But things have not shaped up as I expected due to which I have not been able to concentrate into this. But then, picture abhi khatam nahi hua hai...
CAT, Hmmm..., waste of Rs 1100 (form fees) + 40 (courier charges) + 700 (Going to B'lore to write exams and back). Thus, a total loss of Rs. 1840 :-(. I just feel that it was a nice trip to Bangalore. Not that nice too. In fact, I was not even able to meet many of my friends. Just Kudda Mallya, Gurya n RD. Because of the lack of time and the urgency to return back the next day because of the BCom exams, I had to rush. The exam was on sunday and BCom exams would commence from monday. I had taken a reservation for the return journey by Channamma Express that night. However, I thought I will come back in the afternoon and cancel the ticket. But then, I changed my mind as one of my friend, Deepak, was also at Bangalore. I went to his uncle's house where he had haulted. We studied for some time. We were so tired that our eyes were almost getting closed each moment. In the evening, we went out to get a cell phone for his uncle. And then, we went to the railway station. I got a free upgrade to AC 3 tier. And you won't believe, we were 4 in the train, all in different bogies. There were around 800 people travelling like us. A few lucky people (around 30) got this upgrade. And we all were in that lucky list. Moreover, I was actually in the waiting list. It was a good journey. And yeah, not to forget, we continued studying for the next day's exam, Financial Management

CDS was a an unexpected strike. I never thought I will write this exam. But I dont know how and why, I just went on, took the form, mailed it, wrote the exam. It was OK. What I feel is, I have performed well, but I may not be able to qualify into the top few who get the call for interview. I was surprised to find some of my SSBJ friends at the test. In fact, we are built for this and defence is in every Ajeet's blood but unfortunately, not all have it in their fate. Keshav and Vinay surprised me by their presence in the exam. In fact, they were more surprised to see me there. It was a very hectic exam. 3 papers on a single day. It started from 9 am and ended at 5 pm. 9 to 11, 12 to 2, 3 to 5. Sounds like some primary exam timings. But then, the level of difficulty is too high. It is no less than an IAS exam. In fact, it should have been more competitive if more Indians were interested in defence. Aayega, aayega, yeh din bhi jaroor aayega jab log defence ko ek career ke taur pe treat karenge. Its a nobel profession with great honors. I'd love to be into it. But these days, as things have taken a new shape, I am not able to deeply think about this

Then the big boss, BCom. I have always been saying, Life has become a bloody hell because of this. Not because of the exams, but because of this course. The course is very good but we never learnt it. Hardly, any classes are being conducted in the college. Teachers hain tho students nahi aur students hai to teachers nahi. Further, this being the college in the heart of the city and famous for its notorious activities, you can imagine, what is the fate of the people here. Hardly does anyone comes to teach or learn. Its more like a club than a college. But then, we love it. There is no one to be blamed for this. Parampara hai bhai! 1947 main yeh college ka birth hua hai. Shayad issi liye, British log bhi yahaan se bhaag gaye... 60 years of existence now. Almost 90% of the students are all children of businessmen. They are nowhere bothered about life. Because, this is not going to matter them at all. Let they fail or pass, their ultimate destination is the shop, wherein, they have to continue to family business. Tho, college kyun aathe hain? Arey bhaiyaa, shaadi ke time Graduation ka certificate bhi hona hai na. Nahin tho, ladki inse bhi experienced bann jaayegi...

Oh! My exams. They were good. Not that good as I perform everytime. But considering the fact that I had not studied a single word, it was better than my expectations. I am expecting the following scores in the exams. These are the minimum expectations and I am definitely going to get more than this for sure
Auditing- 53/80
Financial Management- 49/80
Computers- 53/80
Tax Procedures- 52/80
Entrepreneurship- 62/80
Statistics I- 70/80
Statistics II- 39/80
Aggregate- 378/560, ie, an average of 54 out of 80 per subject
Internal marks expected (at 18 per subject)- 126 out of 140
Total marks- 504
Percentage- 72%

This is the minimum score expected by me in the exams. So, my score will be higher than this

Ab kya karein???

Now the next big thing in my life is NCFM exams

As they are scheduled on 8th and 9th of this month, I just have 3 days for them. I need to put in the best and clear these exams. And then, I need to concentrate on trading and LIC sales too. Hmmm... hectic life na!!!

Chalo, let get back to work

Kal kare so aaj kar, Aaj kare so ab
Pal mein parlay hoyegi, bahuri karega kab

Saturday, 1 December 2007

1st post after renovation...

After all the renovation work of my blog, things have become better. From the earlier dim green to sexy black, the tranformation is a symbol of active movement not just on the blog, but in my life too. They say, Black n White are the best color combinations and today, its been proved too. I am very glad and happy to see this change. My blog has not attracted much traffic till now. I need to promote my blog now to ensure that I get good number of visits each day. I'll start this work as soon as possible

Coming back to life. A few more exams to go. Hmmm... I am writing about my exams right from the day I started this blog and even till now, the exams have not ended. Nor will they end anytime in the near future. Things are really tough as I always mentioned

And hey, Happy New Month everyone...

This is the last month of the year 2007. Another 31 days from now, we will step into 2008. I need to concentrate on a lot of things this month

LIC sales have to improve now as I have been inactive from August 2007. Its the sole source of income for me. And the situation has become worse financially as I have not done any business from over 4 months. So, its time to break out of this passive life and make some activity

I need to prepare for NCFM and I am with plans to start a brokerage business too. The business plan is being prepared to cover the entire financial spree. I will come out with the project report and complete details once I am planned

For the moment, I am still into the business of exams